


My Life With You

by an_alternate_world



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-03-08 19:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3221030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_alternate_world/pseuds/an_alternate_world
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  427  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**[chasingblue57](http://www.chasingblue.tumblr.com) ** prompted a fic with the first sentence of: "What do you mean you've never seen this movie before?" he exclaimed, the look of absolute dismay on his face causing Caitlin to break into a fit of giggles._

* * *

"Well, I just… It's more about physics than biochemistry and-"

"But it's a  _classic_!" he said, closing the DVD tray and picking up the remotes. "I watched this at least a dozen times when I was a child."

Caitlin smiled fondly as she shifted on the couch, allowing Barry to scoot in behind her and drape the blanket across their bodies. She loved feeling the solid stretch of his torso for her to rest her head against, the curve of his legs tucked behind hers, his arm casually slung over her waist to anchor their bodies together. The rare downtime they had which allowed for watching movies and cuddling together was enough to make her heart race and her skin feel warm.

She took the bait as Barry scrolled through the DVD options, ensuring subtitles were off and the spoken language was English. "Why did you watch it so many times?"

She felt a momentary stiffness in Barry's body, the tension that invaded his shoulders at her question unmistakable. Perhaps he hadn't been baiting her to ask. Maybe he'd just been exasperatedly chiding her for her limited science fiction viewing experiences which, she supposed, might actually be terribly abysmal considering the world she now accidentally lived in.

"I used to think that…" Barry's voice faltered and she immediately twined her fingers through his, tilting her head back in an attempt to see the expression on his face. "After my mom died, and I saw this, I just thought that…that maybe it  _was_  possible for alien creatures to exist, and maybe we were under attack from an evil empire, and people could train as Jedi to protect their loved ones…"

She smiled sadly and he left a kiss imprinted behind her ear. She could hear the faint tremble in his breathing as he inhaled and exhaled, something she wondered if she could pick up on because of how frequently she had to examine and treat him for his wounds.

"Anyway, now I know I wasn't entirely wrong, but I wasn't exactly right either."

She squeezed his hand and he pressed the play button, allowing  _The Imperial March_  to burst from the speakers. "Well, if anyone gets to show me  _Star Wars_ , I'm glad it's my own personal protector," she teased, glad she could dispel his demons when he huffed a laugh and nuzzled his head to rest against hers.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  426  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anonymous**  on Tumblr prompted a fic with the first sentence of: "For once I actually thought it would be me."  
_

* * *

Caitlin stroked her fingers through Barry's hair, her nails scratching a line along the back of his neck. A shiver rippled down his spine at the sensation, feeling both comforted and safe after such a dangerous day.

"I've never been so scared for you," Caitlin whispered, wrapping her arm tighter around his body to keep him pressed into her shoulder. His hand spanned wider across her belly, soaking in the rhythmical rise and fall with her breathing. It was a far cry from her panicked hyperventilating when Cisco had dragged him into the infirmary area and Dr Wells had injected him with an anti-venom.

He glanced up at her, offering a nervous smile. "But I turned out okay."

Her nose wrinkled, her lip caught between her teeth, as she cradled his cheek and gazed into his eyes. He could still see the fear in her expression and he could sense it was coated on her skin and trapped in her lungs. He wasn't sure when it would fade. He wouldn't admit it, but when he knew the metahuman had infected his blood with the ability to make it lose oxygenation - and knowing his heartbeat faster than normal which meant it would pump de-oxygenated blood quicker which would lead to less time to obtain help - he had struggled with his own panic. He'd had to run as fast as possible to get back to STAR Labs, to a waiting Cisco and Wells, but the run posed its own problems of speeding up the rate of absorption of the toxin. When he'd begun the run to STAR Labs, he wasn't sure he was going to make it - but if he didn't make the run, he was definitely not going to make it.

"You need to stop taking so many risks," she sighed, her thumb smoothing along the curve of his cheekbone and over his eyebrow.

He grasped at her hip, nosing at her jaw and gently kissing her neck. "I can't avoid them, you know that," he said, inhaling the florals and spice of her perfume, "but I'll try to not get into a situation like  _that_  again, okay?"

Caitlin's lips wobbled but he knew he couldn't make her the world of promises she desired, the world of promises she deserved. It was the best he could do, the best he ever did, and she knew that. "Okay," she relented, tilting her head to kiss the top of his and cradling the back of his neck protectively.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  376  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anonymous**  on Tumblr prompted a fic with the first sentence of: "Why take a plane when I could get us there in a fraction of the time?"  
_

* * *

Caitlin looked up from her laptop, biting her lower lip as her eyebrows raised. "I know you can run on water but-"

Barry folded his arms over his chest, an amused smile twitching his lips as Caitlin stuttered into silence and her fingers stilled on the keyboard. "Caity, you know I'm not going to let you get hurt if I'm running with you."

Caitlin sighed, lowering her head. "I know…"

"And you know that I might eat a lot of food after such a run but it's well within my abilities," Barry continued, stepping closer and crouching beside her. His hand brushed against her knee and she allowed a small smile as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "So why?"

Caitlin hesitated, her nails scraping along the nape of his neck. "Ronnie and I were discussing our honeymoon just before the explosion. We- We were going to go to Tahiti and…"

Barry tilted his head to remove her hand from his hair, cradling it within his own and smoothing his thumb along the lines on her palm. "Caitlin…"

Sometimes he wondered if the loss of Ronnie would be something insurmountable to him, something that was imprinted so deep into Caitlin's skin that it had merged with her DNA. Every step forward they took with their relationship always had the lingering ghosts of Ronnie following after them.

"I just want to…to be able to sit on a plane and lean my head on your shoulder and relax," Caitlin explained slowly, labouring over the words that were laden with her insecurities. "I know you could get us there faster but-"

"Okay," he interrupted, raising her hand to kiss his palm. "Okay."

And though he hated being stuck on a plane for six hours when his trapped energy began to swell beyond his control - which required sprinting across land and water for over an hour after they landed to release it - he granted Caitlin's desire because he wanted her to be happy, he wanted her to heal, and he wanted her to recover from the loss that had shaken her to the core and continued to reverberate within her soul.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  613  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Amy**  ( **sophisticatedloserchick** ) on Tumblr prompted a fic with the first sentence of: "I'm not getting into bed with you unless you promise me one thing"_

* * *

Barry stared at Caitlin until he became conscious of the fact his mouth was hanging open half an inch and that wasn't cool. He scratched the back of his neck and tried to relax his stance, trying to look casual and unaffected by the fact she'd actually put the offer out there - although the promising thing was an issue. He already had to not tell Iris about his alter ego, and that wasn't going so well for him.

"Okay…" he said slowly, unsure where to put his hands. Ordinarily he'd put them in the pockets of a blazer or his jeans, but he lacked pockets on the suit. He'd have to ask Cisco to remedy that so his anxiety had an outlet.

"No strings," Caitlin said, taking a step towards him, her eyes betraying her uncertainty as she touched a hand to his chest. He tried not to think too much about how she'd be more than able to feel the racing fluttering of his heart beneath her fingertips - he just hoped it was his imagination that made it seem faster than usual. "No feelings. I won't- I can't do a relationship again. Not yet. Not after-"

"Caitlin, I get it," he said, wrapping his hand around her wrist and drawing her towards him. He wasn't sure he wanted strings or feelings either. He was still a mess over Iris and Eddie, he was still struggling with being Barry Allen by day and The Flash by…well, whenever there was a more immediate crisis. He threaded his fingers between hers, his thumb brushing against the engagement ring she hadn't removed. He wondered if it was a ridiculous, terrible, no-good, awful idea to even get involved with someone who was still grieving so much. "I'm not him."

"I know," Caitlin replied, her voice quivering as she leaned her head against his shoulder, her spare arm wrapping around his waist and letting her fingers span against his chest. "I know. I just- I can't lose you too, Barry. I need you to be safe. I know you're not him, but…"

Barry wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure - she definitely compared him to Ronnie more than enough times - but he didn't want to press the issue. She'd put the offer there and he wasn't going to say no. They'd shared too many conspiratorial looks, too many lingering glances - and that was just the ones he'd caught. He lowered his head, pressing a kiss to her temple as she held onto him.

"I can keep myself safe, as well as you," he whispered against her ear, stroking his thumb against the soft skin on the inside of her wrist. "I can avoid having this become a relationship. Just promise me one thing."

Caitlin peered up at him, her eyes dark and unsure.

"When it's just us in bed, it's  _just_  us," he said, stealing a look at her lips before returning his stare to her eyes. He was often terrible with words but he needed her to know that he didn't want her to think about Ronnie, just like he wouldn't think of Iris. He didn't want anyone else to clutter her head. He wanted to lose himself in Caitlin, not lose them both in the what ifs and could have beens with other people.

She hesitated for a moment that felt too long - but was difficult to actually gauge when everything seemed so much faster to Barry - before nodding, tipping her head back and allowing Barry to press a hesitant, chaste kiss to her lips.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  727  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with The Flash, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anonymous**  on Tumblr prompted a fic beginning with the sentence: Barry saw the flash of hurt across Caitlin's face when the Pied Piper made a comment about not receiving a wedding invite._

* * *

Barry saw the flash of hurt across Caitlin's face when the Pied Piper made a comment about not receiving a wedding invite.

He battled with the initial urge to punch Rathaway's face into a bloodied pulp and rip his limbs from his body, scattering the pieces across Central City but…it was pretty clear the callous comment had cut into barely-healed wounds which criss-crossed Caitlin's heart. Responding to her, being with her, seemed more demanding, more urgent, than anything else right now.

He glanced at Cisco and it appeared the other male understood he needed to take Rathaway to one of the chambers before Barry's fists unleashed on Rathaway's body.

"Stay in front of me," Cisco ordered, following the Piper down a corridor while Barry looked down the corridor Caitlin had used to escape the interaction. Part of him thought he should grant her the time to process the words and feel her emotions but he figured Caitlin was more likely to fold herself into her work and refuse to feel the full impact of the damaging words.

He jogged along the corridor until he noticed an ajar door and looked inside. The lights were off and initially he wondered if the door had simply been left open, except then he noticed a glint of a stiletto heel peeking out from the desk.

"Caitlin?"

The heel disappeared and he managed a wry smile at her attempt to hide, before stepping into the room and approaching the desk. Concealed in swathes of shadows was Caitlin, her hair a dark curtain shielding her face.

"Hey," he murmured, reaching his hand out to search for hers until he found it wrapped around her knees. He fumbled a little before determination surged through him and he looped his fingers around hers.

"Barry…"

"Humour me." He squeezed gently, rubbing his thumb against hers in an effort to reduce her protest against his presence. "You're allowed to hurt, you know."

Caitlin was silent and Barry took the opportunity to shift closer, squishing onto Caitlin's other side against something he couldn't see but tinkled faintly. He wondered if it was a piece of medical equipment.

"I wish I knew when it wouldn't hurt so much," Caitlin admitted, her voice wavering as Barry felt the tickle of her hair against his jaw and then the weight of her head on his shoulder. He tilted his head to rest his cheek on top of her hair, continuing to smooth his thumb along her fingers.

"It will never stop hurting," Barry sighed. He wished he could offer greater comfort but in he had enough experience and knowledge of grieving along with an aching heart he wasn't sure would ever truly heal. "Some days you don't notice it so much. Some days you think you're okay again. And then you meet a person like Rathaway who tears you down just because he can, or you might hear a really casual comment by someone that doesn't know which reminds you about what happened and then you're plunged into hurting all over again."

"That sounds unbearable."

He smiled in the darkness, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "It's completely bearable because you don't have to handle it alone."

Caitlin sighed, tucking herself closer to him. "Thank you."

He squeezed her hand again and stayed with her, allowing her the chance to piece herself back together without interference, without placing demands on her to speak until she got defensive. He stayed with her until she straightened up and let go of his hand.

"I need to see Rathaway," she said, her voice strong and firm and lacking the emotion he wished she would let herself feel. But it wasn't his grief to process and he couldn't tell her what to do, only be her friend when her days or nights turned dark.

They exited the room together where, in the light, Barry could see hints of dampness on her cheeks that he didn't mention when Caitlin managed a weak smile as she glanced at him before looking away and dabbing at her face.

"I'll see you in the lab," she said, firming her jaw, her eyes narrowing as she touched his arm and began walking in the opposite direction to the chambers they held metahumans in.

He almost felt pity for the tirade Rathaway would most probably endure.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  415  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with The Flash, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anonymous**  on Tumblr prompted a Valentine's fic with the sentence: "Seeing as we've both not got anyone, do you want to come to mine and watch a film?"_

* * *

Barry looks up from the file he's been reading about the latest metahuman with the ability to travel along electricity lines to take out power to homes, traffic lights and secure areas. Some melted ice cream wasn't the worst thing in the world but the capacity to cause major delays or accidents, or steal their way into banks or museums or weapon lock-ups were definitely a cause for concern.

"That depends on the movie. It had better not be some romantic comedy that makes me start laughing and by the end I'm crying," he says, watching the way Caitlin's lips twitch at the corner with the smile she's trying to hide.

"Well I'm not going to watch one of your nerdy sci-fi things again when I live in a world of the impossible."

"You  _like_  the impossible," he says and she turns to him, her nose wrinkled in protest. "You  _like_  studying the metas and exploring the limits of humanity. You _like_  poking them and jabbing them to see what results they yield. You _like_  patching me up after the latest one tries to kill me because  _all_  of them are apparently determined to be dangerous."

Caitlin huffs and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. It's his turn to cover the smile creeping across his face.

"Look, it's just a movie because Valentine's Day can be hard if you're without the person you want the most," Caitlin says with a shrug and a small wave of her hand as she swivels on her seat to face the screen again. "My couch is exceptionally comfy too."

"Oh?" His eyebrows rise as he hops off the bench and wanders over to her, watching the way her spine stiffens as he approaches. "Well in that case…"

"You're  _mean_ , Mister Allen," she says, jabbing him in the stomach when he's close enough, a gesture he laughs at as he touches a light hand to her hair and peers over her shoulder to see what she's reading - molecular biology of how the metahuman can transform into electrical currents.

"Fine, fine. I'll stick to my end of the couch and you can stick to yours if it makes you feel better."

Caitlin jabs blindly at him again but he darts out of the way, sending papers whooshing around and ruffling Caitlin's hair. She scowls and flips him off, causing him to grin and blow her a kiss before he runs off to go to the police lab and process some evidence.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  352  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with The Flash, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_[**Desiprincess**](http://www.desiprincess.tumblr.com) on Tumblr prompted a fic that included the sentence: "Have you lost your damn mind!?"_

* * *

"Have you lost your damn  _mind_!?”

Barry’s expression falters, the hopeful optimism swiftly replaced with devastating disappointment. He looks down at his hands before they rub against his neck, coiling into the hair at the back of his head. She watches his transformation from a confident, excited young man to a scared little boy and her heart breaks because she was so careless with her words when she became afraid.

“Barry-”

“No, it’s fine.” He turns away from her and even at this distance she can see the way his shoulders tremble. “I get it. It was a stupid idea.”

“Bar-”

He runs from the room before she even finishes the second syllable, the sound of his name hanging in the air. It’s an unanswered plea for reason because a desperation has unfurled within her at Barry’s suggestion. She kicks off her shoes and sinks into her favourite swivel chair, fingers threading through her hair as she forces herself to breathe slowly and deeply.

She doesn’t know how to explain to Barry that, while his decision to try saving his mother is admirable, while his plan to travel through time is mind-boggling and theoretically impossible, she’s not sure he’s thought through the implications of what he wants to do. If Barry saves his mother, then he won’t have the same need to save people’s lives. If Barry saves his mother, then he won’t go into forensic science with Nora Allen’s case at the back of his mind. If Barry saves his mother, then he won’t be in the lab the night the particle accelerator exploded. If Barry saves his mother, then he won’t become The Flash.

And what did that mean for the alternate universe present-day world she lived in?

It’s not that she wants to destroy Barry’s hope for saving his mother - she couldn’t imagine the trauma that the loss has inflicted on him - but she’s certain that if Barry saves his mother, then he won’t ever meet her.

It terrifies her that there might be a life, a world, in which Barry Allen hadn’t whirled into her existence.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  354  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with The Flash, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anonymous**  on Tumblr prompted a fic that included the sentence: "I almost lost you."_

* * *

His fingers tiptoe up the ladder of her spine until he can wind them around loose tendrils of her hair, grasping her to him because he's afraid that if he lets go, she'll disappear and never come back. She shifts against his collarbone, her hand sliding around his waist, her breath tickling across the bare skin of his chest.

"I almost lost you," he murmurs into the stillness that surrounds them, the words pushing into the afterglow that has seeped through layers of flesh into his bones. "I thought- I thought I'd never-"

She hushes him with a kiss to the dip between his collarbone and shoulder, her hair brushing against his skin. He can feel the lines of her body pressing into his own, her temperature cooler than his despite the orgasm that had left her trembling beneath him, her hands clutching at his shoulder blades as he'd groaned her name into her neck.

A tear spills from the corner of his eye down his temple and he circles her body with his other arm, the fear that had gripped him for hours taking extra time to fade from his body. His heart skips a beat and his breath seizes in his chest.

"Caity," he pleads and she tucks herself against him, knowing what he needs, knowing what he's going to do. He gathers the sheet around her waist and tips them over, rolling her beneath him where he can gaze into her dark eyes and reassure himself that she's here, she's safe, she's unharmed.

Her eyebrows lower when she sees the shine of the tear trail on his face, her legs parting to allow him to settle comfortably against her. "Barry, I'm okay," she promises, smoothing her fingers through his hair, scraping her nails against his scalp.

He nods, nuzzling into her neck and inhaling deeply. He can smell the sweetness of her perfume, the salt of her sweat, the lingering scent of sex. It's familiar, reassuring, and he presses a delicate kiss to the hickey already blossoming dark against the pale column of her skin.

_She's here. She's safe. She's unharmed._

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  698  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_[**Kimberly**](http://www.chasingblue57.tumblr.com) on Tumblr prompted a fic that included the sentence: "Tell me a secret."_

* * *

He spins in one of her favourite swivel chairs, twirling in circles because he knows it's annoying her. Her eyebrows have lowered into that frustrated frown because she can't concentrate, her bottom lip caught between her teeth because she's worrying about something too much, her eyes keep darting across the screen and he wonders what it is that's causing her to look so intently at some data when he's doing everything in his power to gain her attention.

And it's not working.

He slows the spinning until his feet are planted on the ground, his toes tapping a rhythm in his shoes. "Tell me a secret," he says, determined to interrupt whatever musing has her more focused on the computer than him. Not that he's being self-centered about it. He just…misses her eyes finding his, the smile that softens her entire face when she allows herself to loosen up.

Her eyebrows crinkle before her eyes flicker up to his face and he can almost see the question marks hanging above her head. Confused is a cute look on Caitlin Snow, one he rarely has the opportunity to see and will never,  _ever_  tell her he likes if he values his life and healing without scars littering his body.

"A secret?" she repeats, lower lip disappearing between her teeth again. He rolls his eyes and forces himself to remain in the seat, knowing he could pry the flesh free and be back in his seat before she's even finished blinking. "I don't- Barry-"

"Anything!" he says, waving his hand with all the encouragement he can. "Should I go first?" He pauses, calculating her expression, before he launches into it: "When I was little, I was afraid of the dark."

Her eyebrows arch in surprise, a small curl of the edges of her lips as she looks him over. "Not as afraid anymore?"

She's fishing, he knows she is, for him to say, ' _Not with you to keep the monsters away_ ,' but he doesn't want the conversation to be derailed off  _her_. She knows so much about him. She spent nine months monitoring his body so he's pretty sure she has well and truly catalogued every freckle, every scar, every strand of hair.

But Caitlin Snow is still so mysterious, in so many ways.

"My first kiss was when I was 19," she says, so sudden in the silence of the lab that he stares at her. Her cheeks slowly turn pink, her eyes lowering to the keyboard in front of her, and he realises that her confession has unlocked about a hundred new questions which will probably only result in three answers. "It's- I'm not a…a very warm person, you know? People in high school used to call me the 'Ice Queen' because I didn't socialise and preferred to top all my classes. I… I was a nerd, I guess. I wanted a boyfriend but…none of them were very interested in me until I went to college."

He slides from his chair to approach her, watching the way she twists away from his hands before relenting and letting him hold her. He can tell she's tense, probably uncomfortable at being held, and he strokes his hand down her back and kisses her temple.

"You  _still_ don't have much of a social life, Doctor Snow," he murmurs against her ear, using his speed to duck out of the way of her slap to his shoulder. She scowls at him and tosses a pen that he easily catches, drops next to her loose pieces of paper, and then hides a grin when they fly around the room with the air he displaces.

"Don't you have another job you can go do something at, Mister Allen?" she hisses, but there's a smile around the edge of her lips that betrayed her - he's not really in trouble, even though she wishes she could yell at him.

"Fiiiiiiine," he sighs, darting close to her to kiss her cheek and then away again. "See you tonight."

He winks and she rolls her eyes, and then he flashes out of the room with plenty to muse on about Caitlin Snow in high school and college.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** My Life With You  
 **Author:** an-alternate-world  
 **Rating:**  T  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow  
 **Word Count:**  503  
 **Summary:**  A collection of Snowallen drabbles prompted via Tumblr.  
 **Warnings/Spoilers:**  None for this drabble.  
 **Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with  _The Flash_ , The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

* * *

_**Anis**  ( **anisstaranise** ) on Tumblr prompted a fic that included the sentence: "It's okay to cry."_

* * *

She notices his distance in the weeks after Barry had returned to the past to try to save his mother but she's wary of pushing too far which only serves to push him away. He seems…fragile, exhaustion paling his cheeks and darkening his eyes. He lacks enthusiasm, he doesn't concentrate for long and… Well, she's concerned.

Cisco's jerked his head towards Barry a few times and then looked at her, a clear sign that he's leaving this all to her to deal with. And it scares her, the loss that colours his posture, because she understands that loss and at the same time, she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking the last vestiges of Barry Allen until all that's left are tattered strands of his soul floating on the wind.

She finds him in the treadmill room after another fruitless search for their latest metahuman crisis. His suit has been stowed and now he sits, folded into a corner of the room, in sweatpants and the S.T.A.R. Labs hoodie they'd given him after he'd first woken up. He looks more defeated than she can ever remember seeing and she worries maybe she's left approaching him too late.

"Hey," she says, sliding to the floor beside him, elbows brushing together as she inches as close as she can get without feeling like she's invading his space.

"Hey," he echoes, but his voice is flat, his eyes are distant, and she knows he's nine parts pretense and one part broken shell. Maybe they'd all been wrong to try to change the past, to give Barry a chance at saving his mother.

An uncomfortable silence stretches between them, expanding the barrier between the Barry she knows and the Barry beside her until they're almost indistinguishable as the same person. Gnawing her lower lip between her teeth, she twines her fingers around his and hold on tightly. She doesn't miss the shuddered breath he releases as she smooths her thumb across his skin.

"I know saving her didn't go as planned," she murmurs, squeezing Barry's hand gently. "It's okay to be upset."

Barry shakes his head, looking like he's only seconds away from crumbling into tears. She doesn't want to push him but…at the same time, Barry's always been someone who expresses his feelings, who isn't ashamed to reach out when he needs someone.

"It's okay to cry, Barry," she whispers and his breathing hitches as he turns towards her like a small child that's just had a nightmare. Her arm wraps around his waist, her other hand cradling the back of his neck as he sobs weakly into her shoulder. She hadn't wanted to break him, hadn't wanted to see him so low and despairing that he caved in against her, but she's glad he's made ridding himself of some of the toxicity that had permeated the air for weeks.

"It's okay," she says against his ear as she rocks him back and forth and makes soft hushing noises in an attempt to soothe him.

* * *

_**~FIN~** _


End file.
